Currently my son is screaming in his room. He’s been defiant and a bully most of this week (ever since all his pacis “broke” this weekend). He hasn’t taken naps and I’m on my last nerve. I’ve locked myself in my husband’s bathroom (the farthest room with a door from his room) and he’s safe in his toddler-proof bedroom crying.
This week has been a massive exercise in self-control. I’m on the verge of losing it today.
I’m weary. I’m emotionally drained. I’m sad for my little boy. My heart hurts that he’s having so much trouble.
Much of my frustration is that I haven’t been able to complete a single task this week. Most notably, I’ve prepared to write my next installment of Blogging Through the Bible series approximately 14 times this week. I desperately want to get back on track with that series. I’ve got a notebook full of notes because I have done the study, I just haven’t been able to actually write it up and publish it on the blog.
I’m being selfish and task-oriented. I’m feeling the pressure of my obligations and I’m struggling to prioritize. These are not excuses to sin and I’m fighting the flesh heartily against my flesh today.
It is important to take a step back when you’re in thick of it. Stop. Breathe. Think about what you really need.
Do you really need to pursue obedience when you’re desperately trying to control your anger? Do you really need to address behavioral issues when you’re on the verge of crying, or screaming, or both? Do you really need to press on to finish a task, or project, or do you just need to rest?
I’m in need of God just to speak to me, refresh my soul and ease my emotions. I need Him to refocus me from my circumstances to His character and promises. I need Him, period.
Jeremiah 31:25 – “For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”
Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Galatians 6:9 – “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
Hebrews 12:1-4 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”
Isaiah 32:1-2 – “Behold, a king will reign in righteousness, and princes will rule in justice. Each will be like a hiding place from the wind, a shelter from the storm, like streams of water in a dry place, like the shade of a great rock in a weary land.”
Go to God. Trust Him. He is faithful and He loves you – even when you’re teetering that ledge. He wants to help and He wants you to come to Him.