Today I’m so happy to introduce you to our guest blogger, Claresa Smith. She has been gracious to share her words and growth by writing about a topic that she’s currently sojourning through. To be honest, I’ve been there as well – trudging through fear and anxiety while desperately trying to trust God with our little babes. I love what she so eloquently shares here.
It’s been nearly nine months since my family became a threesome; and I love life with my baby girl in it. There are times where I sit and watch her, wondering what type of person she will be, and what she will make of herself. I often tell my husband that I’m amazed at how God could entrust me with things as important as “growing” a child in my belly, and then raising that child. It’s such a great responsibility.
Right now, my daughter is past the point of sitting still, and the dive, reach and roll is her “thing”. That means we’re getting closer to the stage of complete mobility. And honestly, that scares me. I remember having such an insatiable curiosity and an independent nature as a child. However, those qualities got the best of me when I put a hot iron on my face and tried to carry a bike twice my size down some stairs. All this before I turned five. Luckily, my face survived that trauma. However, the training wheels on that bike didn’t.
Remembering those days makes me want to put my girl inside a bubble, and never let her out. I don’t want to let her play in the grass, get messy, or even fall down. All I want to do is keep her inside on my carpeted floor or in my arms.
That’s because I’m a worrier. I admit it.
I’ve been known to live in this state of anxiety that keeps me constantly looking over my shoulder for who could potentially be out to get me, or trying to stop myself from conjuring up horror stories in my head.
I always thought I was just being cautious, but now I know a lot of that worry, fear and anxiety was irrational – because it consumed me, which can’t be good for me or my family.
In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul says that “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
I spent so much time over the years obsessing about things that I didn’t seek the God who I believe controls my future; and I didn’t embrace the promise He gives me by strengthening and upholding me with “His righteous hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
In Psalm 34:4, David did just that, and He was delivered from His fears. He cried out to God when he was troubled. And In the same way, we are also called to give our cares to God.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
I didn’t know that God could give us peace when we can’t seem to find it ourselves. But now that I do, I’m praying He will give me some the moment my daughter makes her way out of my arms, and takes off crawling farther away from me and my carpeted floor.
Claresa Smith is an experienced journalist who is the wife of a science fiction-loving artist and illustrator, and mom to a spirited baby girl. She is committed to finding inspiration for better living in everyday life, and encouraging others to do the same. She writes about that journey at claresa.net. When she’s not writing, you can find her drawing, taking on a DIY project, organizing something, or spending time her husband and daughter.