As most of you know I am now without a job. But it was solely of my own accord, I wasn’t canned or anything. It wasn’t that ‘real’ to me until I woke up today with Paul and thought to myself, “I don’t have to get up right now, I have nowhere to be!” and then my excitement came at that moment. I still did get up, I rather like our morning routine and I really want to continue seeing Paul off to work with a kiss like we do every morning, but I didn’t take my shower until after breakfast!
I am thrilled to not have a formal 9a-5p job anymore. Especially since being married last year, I’ve increasingly become aware of my desire to stay-at-home and make my home a place of rest for people: my husband, myself and any visitors that may happen by. In addition to this growing desire, I was utterly exhausted from work and very tired of Paul getting “what’s left of me” at the end of the day, or not having energy to do much in the evenings after work and cooking dinner, eating dinner and cleaning up from dinner. Now, to be fair, Paul was absolutely amazing and helped me a lot around the house and preparing meals when I needed it. But I could only go on like that for so long. So, the more exhausted I got, the more I was aching to quit my job and focus on my role as a wife to my husband and a friend to my friends. After talking with Paul about my desires (which I was nervous to do!), he was surprisingly extremely supportive of the whole idea and actually really thought it would be the best for us. I am also so very thankful for God’s blessing and provision for us that while it will take some adjustment going from two incomes down to one, we can certainly still meet all our commitments and keep our budget.
So with that discussion behind us, we also were talking about the whole ‘setting down roots’ thing and moving into the Midwest for our family goals. Upon the whole process beginning, it seemed to be a perfect opportunity to put in my final notice at work. I struggled for a while there with the fear of disappointing my bosses and their expectations of me, but I know this was the best decision for Paul and I and for the future of our family.
Waking up this morning with the freedom to take care of our condo and run some errands during the week was amazing!! I’ve never had such a good time cleaning or grocery shopping! It was absolutely stress-free; I wasn’t thinking of all the other things that I needed to get done in short timeframes. This weekend was actually a weekend where Paul and I relaxed the whole time and didn’t need to do errands because we “only had weekends to do it all in” (actually we only had Saturdays, because we really try to honor the Sabbath and take Sunday as a day of rest). I am now free to go visit family whenever I want to or whenever they need me. I can have longer quiet times in the mornings and take a nap in the afternoon if I feel I need to. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this gift I have in not having to work a full-time job. Paul is absolutely amazing and supportive and I am so blessed by his encouragement to do this.
The only thing that is slightly frustrating is when people ask me (or have asked) “What are going to do when you quit your job?” and when I answer “Be a housewife and homemaker”, they get completely silent and have no idea how to respond. It’s as if being at home during the day is considered a “lazy thing” or that it’s worthless to some degree to not being “doing something with yourself”. I’ve also gotten the “But you don’t have kids” response as well, which really irks me too. Yes, I’ve already experienced this type of attitude toward my decision. What more could a woman ask for than to pour herself into her marriage and her home? To be hospitable to neighbors because you have the energy and time to invite them over? To learn more about God’s intentions and practical ways in which I can serve my husband and the community? Just because I no longer have a “real job” or any kids yet doesn’t make my job as a wife any less, or my desires to volunteer in either an anti-human trafficking organization or alternatives pregnancy center any less fruitful with my time, talents and resources. I can’t encourage you enough to think about what all that means before responding to someone who is a homemaker (with or without kids!), so she can be encouraged in her desires to grow domestically. Ok, rant over… (the rant was an addition to my original intention with this post… I really didn’t think of it until I started pouring my thoughts out… sorry!)